Wal*Mart

So today I went to walmart since I'm making this totally awesome blanket. I realize that I had just woken up and wasn't looking my best, so I was contemplating on showering and doing my hair and makeup before I went. Then I started to think about it... Walmart. Was I really going to get myself ready and cute-looking for Walmart!?!? I don't know if you've noticed, but all the people there are totally ghetto. My brother in law, Brad, fondly refers them as the "Wal-martians" because everyone who shops there is totally weird!! So, I got in my car, clad in my pj's and a baseball cap wearing my glasses. Although I know I must have looked totally stupid, I wore high heels. I figured I had to look semi-weird at least to fit in over there! I parked in the handi-fat zone.

(My sister has this theory that fat people shouldn't have handicapped stickers just for being fat. I mean if you're fat, you should park at the BACK of the parking lot so that you have to walk farther rather than at the front of the paring lot, right? So we refer to the back of the parking lot as the "handi-fat" parking for all the fatties of America)

I walked inside, and down the isle. These two tall gangstas immediately started to stare at me as I passed. I had to laugh to myself because I fit right in and they must have mistaken me for one of their own (wal-martian, remember?). I made my way to the yarn isle and there was a woman standing on the isle, staring at a thingy of yarn whimpering. I wondered what the yarn did to make her so upset. As I went about my business trying to find the right shades of red, this woman just kept on staring at that thing of yarn and I began to get creeped out a little... I hurried and grabbed a skein of yarn and left the isle.

I guess I'll never know what that yarn did to that lady. As I walked out the door to my car, one of the workers yelled out to me, "Have a wonderful day, Laddy!" in a heavy Irish accent.

Ahhh... the many adventures of wal-mart....