Funny Video!

The Horrors of Pasta Salad

My job makes me hate food. Seriously. I work at Utah Foods, this huge catering business located at the Salt Palace in down town salt lake city. Today, me and my friends that I work with had to put pasta salad into these tiny cups and seal it. Guess how much pasta salad we had to do this with. 8 tubs worth. Each tub holds about the same amount as a standard size bath tub.

Needless to say, I used to really like pasta salad. But after five hours of stuffing the nasty concoction into tiny cups, I really HATE it. What IS it anyway? Some noodles.... some veggies... all drenched in a weird dressing. Who thought this stuff up? After each hour that I worked, the pasta salad began to become just a little more repulsive to me. The dressing looked like slobbery drool, the veggies were diced so small that they became this huge sloshy mess, and the noodles were soggy. The smell of the stuff will forever haunt my dreams...

My job has killed many great foods for me in this same manner such as egg rolls, sandwiches, and my used-to-be-favorite tacos. If I keep working at this place, I will eventually starve to death... AND THE NERVE OF THE PEOPLE!! For lunch, they tried to serve us a DIFFERENT kind of pasta salad, but I know better... everyone working passed it up. They think that just because the noodles are differently shaped, it will be more appealing!? I think NOT!!

I need a new job...

Wal*Mart

So today I went to walmart since I'm making this totally awesome blanket. I realize that I had just woken up and wasn't looking my best, so I was contemplating on showering and doing my hair and makeup before I went. Then I started to think about it... Walmart. Was I really going to get myself ready and cute-looking for Walmart!?!? I don't know if you've noticed, but all the people there are totally ghetto. My brother in law, Brad, fondly refers them as the "Wal-martians" because everyone who shops there is totally weird!! So, I got in my car, clad in my pj's and a baseball cap wearing my glasses. Although I know I must have looked totally stupid, I wore high heels. I figured I had to look semi-weird at least to fit in over there! I parked in the handi-fat zone.

(My sister has this theory that fat people shouldn't have handicapped stickers just for being fat. I mean if you're fat, you should park at the BACK of the parking lot so that you have to walk farther rather than at the front of the paring lot, right? So we refer to the back of the parking lot as the "handi-fat" parking for all the fatties of America)

I walked inside, and down the isle. These two tall gangstas immediately started to stare at me as I passed. I had to laugh to myself because I fit right in and they must have mistaken me for one of their own (wal-martian, remember?). I made my way to the yarn isle and there was a woman standing on the isle, staring at a thingy of yarn whimpering. I wondered what the yarn did to make her so upset. As I went about my business trying to find the right shades of red, this woman just kept on staring at that thing of yarn and I began to get creeped out a little... I hurried and grabbed a skein of yarn and left the isle.

I guess I'll never know what that yarn did to that lady. As I walked out the door to my car, one of the workers yelled out to me, "Have a wonderful day, Laddy!" in a heavy Irish accent.

Ahhh... the many adventures of wal-mart....

Pool Fuzzies?

So I've been guarding this summer to earn some extra money. Mostly to feed my car actually... Hey Scientists! You need to start researching new car food! Like antimatter... Speaking of antimatter, ANGELS AND DEMONS!!!!! That is a good book, you should read it.

Anyways, being a lifeguard is exciting stuff. Like today, I was on stand when I noticed something floating around in the air above me. That's odd I thought to myself... Mind you I was guarding at the indoor pool. Upon further investigation, I realized that this 'floatie' was one of those fluffy guys you blow off of dandy-lions (haha, that was a sad attempt to spell that word), only it was the jumbo kind, and it didn't have the little umbrella stem thing. You know the kind I mean? Needless to say I was utterly confused.

How would that fuzzie even get close to the pool!? I mean it would have to fly in through the front door, float down the hall, navigate the maze of locker rooms, and then finally come out onto the pool deck. What kind of fuzzie would take the time to do that!? I also wasn't quite sure why that fuzzie hadn't landed in the water. Our pool has a sort of water playground, with lots of fountains spraying water into the air, the same air the fuzzie was flying around in. This is like the invincible fuzz! What is that all about!?

I still haven't figured it out... maybe someone's just messin' with me...

Starbucks!

Have you ever had a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino? They are way goood! Me and Shannon used to always go to Nickel-Mania and then go to Starbucks across the street and get a vanilla bean fix! A YUM!

Ahhh... it was one of these times where the starbucks noise was invented. Or really named, now that I think about it. Have you ever been drinking something, started to laugh, and in a moment of deeply inhaling, you make a weird gurggily (sp?) noise? That, my friend, is the Starbucks noise. We had just gotten our drinks after a long afternoon at Nickel-Mania and we both started to laugh over who knows what (proably the name George) and I had one of those moments.

Haha! Good times!

Is it weird to post twice in one day? Ten minutes apart? HEHEHE!! We're cool!

I don't know... We're cool anyways!

meep!

Stupid Movie Quotes and Powers

Me and Alan are the coolest people in the world. Hands down. So today, we were watching X-Men on tv. The first one, you know? And we decided that all of Storm's lines are really stupid. Like when she is going to kill Toad or whatever and she's like, "Do you know what happens to a Toad when it's struck by lightening?" *dramatic pause* "The same thing that happens to everything else." I mean, how stupid is that? Who writes this stuff? They should be sued. Alan says that Storm is cool and has cool powers and what not, but I think they're lame. All she can do is make her eyes go all weird and then bam! Stuff gets hit by lightening.

Yeah Yeah... Storm is cool. Shannon is just jealous that she doesn't have any cool mutant powers. I on the other hand, can appreciate other people's awesomeness. Yep, I'm just cool like that. :)

HA! Whatever! You want mutant powers, too! Plus I DO appreciate other people's awesomeness! I think Mystique (sp?) is WAY awesome! Along with Magneto and Deathstrike and Nightcrawler and Wolverine!!!! I guess the only stupid people are Rogue and Storm. Speaking of which, what IS a wolverine, Alan?

Well, the wolverine is related to the weasel, they are known to be very shy and like most weasels the wolverine is scarcely seen. Anyways, back to super powers. Rogue's powers are pretty lame. I think if i could have any power, I'd want Jean Grey's. They are pretty awesome. Although being able to morph into any animal would be WAAAAY cool. I'd fly around everywhere, and cool stuff like that. How cool would that be!?

Yeah, that would be pretty sweet.